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EAP Newsletter - February 2002

In This Issue:

FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE COSTLY FOR COMPANIES

WHEN A RELATIONSHIP ENDS

BEFORE YOU SELECT A CREDIT CARD ...

WHAT'S ON YOUR RETIREMENT LOCATION WISH LIST?

WHAT'S YOUR SPENDING PERSONALITY?

THE CAUSES OF STRESS

MONEY WILL BUY

FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE COSTLY FOR COMPANIES

Employees and bosses are finding communication is suffering in today's fast-paced work environment, but the bad connections are more than mere inconvenience.

They're also a costly drain.

Communication mishaps are eroding productivity and leaving employers at a competitive disadvantage, new studies show. The blunders can crush morale, especially during times of widespread change.

"If I try to force a 20 minute conversation into a 5-minute block of time, I may have to do damage control later on. It may be too abrupt," says Jeffrey Christian, CEO of Cleveland-based executive search firm Christian & Timbers. "As we try to find shortcuts, we run into more problems."

Executives say 14% of each 40-hour workweek is wasted because of poor communication between staff and managers, based on a September survey by OfficeTeam. That amounts to a staggering seven workweeks of squandered productivity a year.

Blame it partly on today’s time crunch.

Often, ideas are shared over telephone lines instead of over lunch. Dashed-off e- mail has replaced thoughtful letters.

And the on-line company newsletter has usurped many company-wide meetings.

"There are more avenues to reach people than ever before, but there's no substitute for face-to-face communication," says Andrew Gilman at Comm-Core Consulting Group, a communications consulting firm in Washington, D.C. "I have seen managers manage by e-mail, and it troubles me."

Poor communication from upper management is a frequent problem linked to emotionally charged situations at work, an American Management Association survey found. Employees say it can affect how they feel about their employer.

"I've worked for a place that had a big problem and kept us in the dark," says Tom Sedor, a job specialist who helps dislocated workers in Bethlehem, PA. "Now our supervisor doesn't hold anything back. It helps the morale." Experts suggest managers plan how they will share important news.

Repeat important information, they say, and rehearse key presentations.

"I don't shoot messengers, therefore I have them," says Robert Gemmell, CEO of Digital Wireless in Norcross, Ga. Such interaction is even more vital during times of upheaval, experts say.

"Otherwise people live with fear, doubt and confusion," says Peter Giuliano, chairman of Executive Communications Group in Engleweed, N. J. "If you allow that to happen as a corporate leader, shame on you. ... People don't resist change, they resist the unknown.

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WHEN A RELATIONSHIP ENDS
Rebuilding blocks for healing

If pain is nature's way of telling us that something needs healing, the pain that follows the end of a relationship should be motivation to "get on with the healing," says Bruce Fisher, EdD, an expert on helping people traumatized by divorce.

Dealing with denial - Denial is the mind's way of helping us cope with the painful reality of a situation by not acknowledging that it's happening. But while it may insulate us from pain, denial delays resolution. Overcome denial by admitting to yourself that the relationship is over, says Fisher. The sooner this is done, the closer you are to being healed.

Overcoming fear - If you're fearful at the end of a relationship, ask yourself why. Do you fear being alone? Do you fear that others will reject you? Fisher says figuring out why you feel fearful is often the first step toward getting rid of it.

Using better adaptive behaviors - As children, each of us learned to act in ways that got us the love and acceptance we craved. If our parents were overly critical, we learned to try to be perfect. If we grew up in a chaotic home, we learned to be unfeeling. If there was little love in our home, we learned we could at least feel needed by pleasing others. Perfectionism, being unfeeling and being a people pleaser are examples of adaptive behaviors.

Finding friends - Many couples lose their friends when they break up. The friends may feel uncomfortable about the split. In times of crisis, friends are important. Turn to them for support as you heal. And motivate yourself to find new, healthy friendships that can help you grow through the adjustment.

Managing anger - Fisher says a breakup leads some people to experience rage for the first time in their lives. This is good, he says, because anger helps create emotional distance between yourself and the ex-partner. But if directed inappropriately, anger can be destructive, even harmful. To deal constructively with anger, Fisher recommends exercise, writing your angry thoughts in a letter and then destroying it or calling a friend and asking if s/he will listen to you say all the angry things you want to say. But above all, Fisher advises finding a healthy, appropriate way to vent anger. Not to do so can place you at risk of depression and other illnesses.

It normally takes a year to adjust to a breakup, says Fisher. While putting these and the other rebuilding blocks in place won't hasten the process, you may learn how your actions contributed to the breakup and how you can prevent that from happening again.

Counseling also can help you to adjust. If you find the going difficult, talk to someone in your Employee Assistance Program (Employee Health Systems).

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BEFORE YOU SELECT A CREDIT CARD ...

Be sure to look carefully at the terms you're being offered. Even small differences can significantly raise the cost of borrowing.

The grace period is the time you have to pay for new purchases before finance charges begin to accrue. The longer that period is, the better.

Grace periods won't apply once you start carrying a monthly balance. However, watch for issuers that charge two months' interest on the first balance carried over. This arrangement can effectively negate the benefit of a grace period.

You'll want a card with a low interest rate. But also review how interest is computed. Most issuers use an average balance method. However, you may do better with a card that uses an adjusted balance because new purchases aren't taken into account until the following month.

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WHAT'S ON YOUR RETIREMENT LOCATION WISH LIST?

Nearly one out of five 50 year olds say they plan to move when they retire, according to a recent survey by the Del Web Corp., a retirement community developer.

If you're among those thinking about the right place to retire, start by making a list of what's important to you. For example, how vital do you consider these factors to be?

For ideas on where to start looking, see Where to Retire: America's Best and Most Affordable Places (3rd ed.) by John Howells.

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WHAT'S YOUR SPENDING PERSONALITY?

All of us make money mistakes - the trick is not to overdo it! Does one or more of these spending personalities describe you?

THE CAUSES OF STRESS

Most people attribute their stress and discomfort to external factors beyond their control such as the weather, fluctuations in the job market, increases in the cost of living or contracted illnesses. Yet a closer look reveals that many individuals cope admirably with these and more severe afflictions while others find it impossible to cope with far less serious problems. It is therefore clear that personal stress management skills, or the lack thereof, are the real determinants of those who essentially enjoy life and successfully contend with its inevitable difficulties and those who are chronically unhappy and who may eventually "break down." Thus, it's not so much a case of escaping negative external events that may overwhelm us, as it is our ability to successfully manage our lives in spite of these painful realities.

Analyze Your Situation

Ask yourself the following ten questions. If you answer "yes" to two or more, you may be suffering from stress and its residual symptoms:

1. I often find a temporary refuge in bingeing on food or alcohol.
2. I frequently wake up dreading the day to come.
3. I often have trouble getting to sleep, despite being physically exhausted.
4. I generally think of myself in tragic terms or as a victim.
5. I consider it important to please everyone and have them think favorably of me at all times.
6. When an unpleasant event occurs, I find that I "replay" it over and over again in my mind.
7. I find myself trying to do more and more in less and less time.
8. My level of motivation has dropped.
9. I frequently criticize myself for not doing well enough.
10. I feel isolated and alone.

Regaining Control

If you answered "yes" to two or more of these questions, you may wish to consider the following strategies:

Learn to prioritize. Not all of your daily tasks are equally important. Get in the habit of tackling the most important tasks first. Don't give equal priority to less significant tasks.

Don't waste your energy catastrophizing about the future or recriminating yourself for past mistakes. It is more productive to focus on the present. Start your day fifteen or twenty minutes earlier than usual. We often set the tone for the entire day by having to rush around frantically when we first get up.

Learn to put closure on your day. Don not take problems home from work or spend your personal time "replaying" stressful work situations.

Work off tensions. Choose a physical activity that will release endorphins that induce a sense of well-being. Chopping wood, a vigorous game of tennis or a brisk walk will dissolve your stress.

Realize that feelings of anger and helplessness come from within and are often caused by fatigue. Treat yourself to sufficient sleep.

Talk about your concerns. Confiding worries to a special friend or trained professional may relieve your stress. Often another person can help you see your problem in a new light.

Foster goodwill toward your co-workers. They can often provide an excellent support system and will reciprocate your friendliness with added cooperation.

Like yourself. You are a unique individual. Respect your abilities.

Recognize your needs. Forgive your errors.

If the stress in your life persists and continues to cause discomfort, consider calling your Employee Assistance Program (Employee Health Systems).

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MONEY WILL BUY
A bed, but not sleep;
A book, but not brains;
Food, but not an appetite;
Medicine, but not health;
Luxuries, but not culture;
Amusement, but not happiness.
- Unknown

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The above articles were gathered from a variety of news sources.

Employee Health Systems 2002

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