1577 West Ridge Road
2280 East Avenue
Rochester, NY 14615
Rochester, NY 14610
Phone: (585) 865-7446
Phone: (585) 473-4913
Fax: (585) 865-7531

info@employeehealthsystems.com

EAP Newsletter - March 2003

In This Issue:
The ABC's of Communicating Assertively
Self-Esteem Thought
How You Can Get a Better Credit Rating

The ABC's of Communicating Assertively

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars." - Les Brown

1. Ask yourself what you have the right to ask for in the situation at hand.
2. Agree on a mutually convenient time to discuss your request.
3. State the problem as objectively as possible without blaming or judging the other individual.
4. Express your feelings using "I-statements," making sure to own your reactions rather than blaming them on someone else. "You-statements" put others on the defensive by judging them for your feelings. If, for example, you say, "You make me angry when you don't call to tell me you're going to be late," the recipient is less likely to listen to you or change his or her behavior to accommodate you. It is your perception or interpretation of another's behavior that is ultimately responsible for your feelings. You can point out to another what he or she did to stimulate your reaction, but take responsibility for your feelings. For example, "I feel angry when you don't call to tell me you're going to be late" helps the listener to tune into your feelings and makes it more likely you will get what you want.

5. Make your request, using the following suggestions:

WHEN OTHERS ARE ANGRY

Whether it's a fight with a spouse or a disagreement with a co-worker gone awry, nearly everyone is on the receiving end of angry words from time to time.

If you find yourself in this situation, cool down before responding to the offender. "If you don't take a timeout, you risk doing or saying something you'll regret," says Jonathan Abramowitz, Ph.D., a Mayo Clinic clinical psychologist.

WHILE YOU'RE COOLING OFF, ASK YOURSELF:

  • Is this situation really that important? How will things seem in a week or month?
  • Can I look at the situation in a way that will be more helpful - such as finding humor in it?
  • Was the person who acted hurtfully under stess?

AFTER YOU'VE CALMED DOWN, address the situation and stand up for your rights. Avoid finger-pointing, making threats or putting others on the defensive. Instead, Dr. Abramowitz suggests these
steps.

  • Describe the incident as you saw it. Use "I" statements intead of "You" statements.
  • Let them know you prefer they handle the situation differently in the future. For example, "I would prefer we descuss our differences more calmly next time."
  • Let them know you didn't like it when they were hostile.
  • Try to add something positive to the interaction, even if it's just a smile or a thank you
Realize that others will sometimes act in unpleasant ways. It's inevitable - and it's their problem. You don't need to make their anger your problem, too.

Reprinted from the December, 2002 Mayo Clinic publication Health Quest with permission of the Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, Rochester, MN.

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Self-Esteem Thought

Today's thought is:

"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's yourself." - Aldous Huxley

One way to increase our self-esteem is practice. Doing such things as trying something new, doing something we used to be fearful of, making a difficult phone call, or trying a new haircut or style of clothing is a start.

If we do something each day to stretch ourselves, to take a little risk, eventually our self-esteem grows. The miracle is we stop caring about the outcome and start caring more about the doing and how good it feels to grow. Before long, we feel the change in ourselves as our power over our own lives grows.

Provided by Hazelden

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How You Can Get a Better Credit Rating

What is your most valuable possession? Is it your home, you car or perhaps a cherished family heirloom?

The fact is that for all of us, our most valuable possession is our personal credit rating!

A poor credit rating may disqualify you from obtaining a loan at all, but did you know that is can also mean the difference between a low rate and substantially higher repayment rate on everthing from mortgages to credit cards to car insurance!

A borrower with even an average credit rating is likely to pay three percentage points more per year on a home mortgage than someone else with a very good rating. On a 30 year loan of $200,000 this can amount to an additional $400 per month!

How can you improve your personal credit score? Keep in mind that nothing reflects worse on you than late payments, collections and bankruptcies. A bankruptcy filing, in particular, can severely damage your credit rating for up to ten years. And while you may still get an auto loan, for example, you will be paying an interest rate that could be twice that of an average borrower.

The best way to impress lenders is to pay your bills on time and, if possible, in full. Failing that, you should always make at least the minimum payment on all your credit cards on or before the due date.

Also, you should always try to pay down high balances, keeping them within 75% of your available credit. Then it won't seem that as though you are "teetering on the brink" of your credit line and therefore inclined to seek more debt.

You should also review your credit report at least once a year and dispute any inaccuracies. You can order a personal credit report from one of the major credit bureaus for about $10.00. These include Experian; Equifax and Trans Union.

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The above articles were gathered from a variety of news sources.

Employee Health Systems 2003

1577 West Ridge Road
2280 East Avenue
Rochester, NY 14615
Rochester, NY 14610
Phone: (585) 865-7446
Phone: (585) 473-4913
Fax: (585) 865-7531

info@employeehealthsystems.com