1577 West Ridge Road
2280 East Avenue
Rochester, NY 14615
Rochester, NY 14610
Phone: (585) 865-7446
Phone: (585) 473-4913
Fax: (585) 865-7531

info@employeehealthsystems.com

EAP Newsletter - October 2007

In This Issue:
Building healthy self-esteem
Don't forget to insure your digital gear
You can learn to be happier
Stress busters: 10 little things to try!

Building healthy self-esteem

Our family of origin teaches us our self-esteem. It is based upon an evaluation of ourselves we form about our personal competence and self-worth. The bad news: low self-esteem becomes a habitual, self-defeating way of reacting in the world. You forgo a level of personal responsibility and follow a path of passivity. Events happen to you instead of you making events happen. Successes are discounted and failures are noticed. Anything "good" that happens is viewed as luck, chance, fortitude, or a fluke! When mishaps occur, you identity your core being with the failures instead of viewing the failures as temporary events. On the other hand, the good news is since self-esteem is a learned behavior, you can unlearn, relearn and change it.

So, where can you find healthy self-esteem these days, especially if you have been on this path of low self-esteem for some time? For one, it is not found in the past. Regardless if you learned your poor self-esteem from childhood, you cannot go back and retrieve it. In fact, healthy self-esteem is always found in the present by changing your current state of mind. You can learn to raise your self-esteem while uncovering the truths about yourself, and this comes down to one main tenet. This tenet asks you to change your decision about yourself by changing your evaluation of yourself today, in the here and now!

As Eleanor Roosevelt pointed out, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." The truth is that no one can "make you" feel anything if you do not buy into it in the first place. You must learn to buy into believing in yourself and not into perpetuating your own assaults on your self-worth. There will always be naysayers and critics out there, but their beliefs are not your truths, but only truths about themselves.

So, how do you raise your self-esteem? Here are several tips for developing your self-esteem quotient:

1. Be open minded. Hear critique and criticism, but only hear them as half-truths. Everyone has their own side to a story, as do you and other people who know you. If you feel badly about some critique you received, do not stew on it; instead ask another you respect what their take is. One's negative talk about another is often just a projection of one's own internal conflicts and fears. They dump these fears instead of owning them.

2. Start praising and stop critiquing. By accepting others and their weaknesses, you start to accept yourself. When you stop finding fault in others, you learn to let up on yourself. This includes that you stop criticizing yourself! Learn to view your failures and weaknesses as milestones to guide you on your way. Often you learn the most under pressure and from your hardest times.

3. See and take appropriate credit for your successes. Chalk them up to dedication, hard work and your positive thinking. Do not believe in luck and chance. Instead, know that you magnetized your successes to you through an extension of your energy and efforts. Accept responsibility. Praise the successes in others. Know that their successes open the door to yours.

4. Accept weaknesses. Know that everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. View your failures and weaknesses as temporary statements about your existence. By no means are they permanent, unless you perseverate about them. Ask yourself what your ideal person with healthy self-esteem would do to move forward. Conjure up the answer and focus on the solution. Think present, not past!

5. Provide self-care. Pay attention to the needs of your heart, mind and body. Follow their lead and learn from yourself. When you learn to listen to your needs and wants and take action to meet them, you elevate your self-worth. You become important. How you treat yourself is how others learn to treat you. This means accepting compliments from others regardless of your belief behind their motivations. Look the complimenter in the eyes and say, "Thank you." They are immediately rewarded and acknowledged for their compliment and you are establishing patters for more compliments in the future. Compliments definitely help in dire times and become a way of receiving instant, external confirmation and validation.

6. Have goals. Be the person you are and become the person you want to be. In other words, participate in the act of living your life. Make choices. Be proactive. Try something new or give yourself permission to do something you have always wanted to do. Be gentle with your imperfections and shortcomings and do not allow them to become roadblocks. Let go of perfection and focus on direction.

Low self-esteem continues out of practice of bad habits. You can change a habit after thirty days of instilling a new behavior. Give yourself one month for practicing the above tips and you will see a major difference in the growth of your healthy self-esteem.

By Karen A. Dahlman

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Don't forget to insure your digital gear

You have car insurance and homeowner's or renter's insurance. But what about your digital gear? Your homeowner's or rental policy offers some protection. But is it enough?

Don't wait for the unthinkable to happen to find out. Talk to your insurance agent today. You probably have a lot invested in digital goods.

Before you talk to your agent, make a complete list of your gear. It helps if you know exactly what you need covered.

Go through your house room by room. You'll be less likely to miss smaller gadgets. Include the value of the gear on your list.

To help organize your list, use software. You can use a spreadsheet program like Microsoft Excel. Better yet, download a free inventory program at KnowYourStuff.org. You can also use it to do a complete inventory of all items in your home.

Next, prepare a list of questions to ask your agent. Here are some things to include:

What events are covered?

The contents of your house are covered under certain circumstances. However, other events won't be covered. Most policies don't cover flood. You may need a second policy.

Ask if an item is covered if you lose it. Also, ask if you're covered if something is stolen outside the home. If you travel overseas, check that your gear is still covered outside the country.

What kind of coverage are you getting?

Some people don't think about the type of coverage they're getting. Your policy may provide for the actual cash value of items. Other policies offer replacement value.

Replacement value is the better option. You'll receive the amount you would pay to buy a comparable item new.

In contrast, actual cash value takes depreciation into account. You'll get the value of your item - minus the amount of depreciation. And few things depreciate as fast as digital gear.

What are the limits and deductible?

Your policy will cap the amount you can claim for personal belongings. For example, your limit may be $25,000 in the event of a disaster.

Additionally, a per-item limit will be imposed. High-end items may not be protected for their full value. For example, you may only receive $1,000 for a television that costs $2,500.

Equally important is the deductible. A high deductible may negate the benefits for less expensive items.

Are digital downloads protected?

Don't expect your insurer to cover your personal data. You're responsible for protecting data on your computer.

However, some insurers are beginning to take digital downloads into consideration. The movies and music you buy may be covered. But you should ask about these items specifically.

You should ask what kind of proof you need of the purchases. If a receipt is required, forward receipts to an online e-mail account.

Can I buy extra coverage?

Chances are, you'll find your insurance is lacking in certain areas. In that case, you may buy additional insurance for personal property. This is usually attached to your main policy.

There are companies that insure digital gear specifically. But don't shell out for this if your gear is already covered.

And beware of insuring your phone through your cellular provider. Many insure phones for a monthly charge. There may also be a deductible. And, you may receive a different, refurbished model as a replacement. So the insurance may only be valuable if you have an expensive phone.

Your insurance company will probably require proof of purchase before fulfilling a claim. So store copies of your receipts online.

And use your camera to take pictures of anything you have insured.

Kim Komando

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You can learn to be happier

Depression now afflicts 10 to 12 percent of American adults, and that number has been growing steadily, according to organizations such as the National Institute for Mental Health and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Depression is a serious illness that causes mental anguish and physical pain, both of which wreak havoc on overall health and well-being. But there's exciting new research regarding free will and the "science" of happiness.

While it may have a genetic component, happiness can be learned, a research team headed by University of Pennsylvania professor Martin Seligman, an expert in the field of positive psychology, has determined.

Seligman's landmark study, published in American Psychologist (2005), demonstrated that simple tasks, such as writing in a "gratitude" journal or thanking an important person in your life, can have powerful mood-enhancing effects.

Other researchers, such as Sonja Lyubomirsky from the University of California, Riverside, have determined that certain behaviors, like acts of kindness and forgiveness, taking care of your body (exercising, eating right and getting enough sleep), having religious faith and smiling or laughing all can contribute to a more satisfying life.

Contrary to popular belief, research suggests that once our basic financial needs are met, additional income and wealth don't increase life satisfaction in the long haul (Diener, E., & Biswas-Diener, R., "Will money increase subjective well being?" Social Indicators Research, 2002). Even lottery winners revert to pre-payoff happiness levels after the initial excitement of winning has passed.
What's more, other desirables such as intelligence, youth, education and more sunshine don't make us happier (although personally, I'd have to disagree with that last one!).

Now, in no way am I pulling a Tom Cruise by suggesting that depressed folks should suck it up, not seek treatment and think happy thoughts. What I am suggesting is that, based on scientific research, a large slice of our life satisfaction is in our hands.

We can choose to take actions to help us feel happier, whether that means seeking professional help, beginning an exercise program or partaking of some of the mood-enhancing actions identified in Seligman's study. The bottom line is that happiness is an attitude, a choice and a skill that needs honing.

Time magazine.

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Stress busters: 10 little things to try!

Researchers at the National Institute of Mental Health indicate that many of us experience a growing sense of stress during the fall months. In some cases, this is related to the opening of school and all that this entails, such as shopping for clothes and readjusting schedules. For others, it is the anticipation of the coming winter months as we say goodbye to the laid-back days of summer. But the concept of "stress management" can itself become stressful when one considers intimidating therapies such as "autogenic training," "biofeedback" or "transcendental meditation." However, stress management can sometimes be achieved by making minor adjustments rather than radical makeovers! Here are 10 such suggestions that are easy to try:

1. Go to bed just 15 minutes earlier at night. You will feel noticeably refreshed in the morning and more energetic in taking on the day and its challenges.
2. Nourish your friendship circle. Reconnect with an old friend.
3. Learn to say no. Resist the urge to accede to someone's request for your time or assistance if you're already multi-tasking. This does not make you a selfish person.
4. When faced with stressful situations, reflect on similar situations that you have successfully withstood in the past. You survived those and you'll survive these!
5. Learn to appreciate your family and co-workers. All too often, we tend to take their positive traits for granted and focus instead on traits we wish we could change, alter or redirect.
6. Don't procrastinate. When we postpone burdensome tasks, they continue to loom on the horizon and drag us down.
7. Avoid perfectionism. The discovery of fuzz balls under the bed doesn't mean that you must embark on a cleaning crusade.
8. Focus on improving yourself in some small way. According to Leslie Bonci, a dietician at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, "four fewer bites of food per day can translate into a weigh loss of ten pounds per year."
9. Limit interaction with "negative" acquaintances who chronically reinforce feelings of hopelessness, anger and despair.
10. Catch yourself when tempted to "catastrophize;" i.e., when your mind fixates on some remotely threatening situation and anticipates an horrendous outcome.

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The above articles were gathered from a variety of news sources.

Employee Health Systems 2007

1577 West Ridge Road
2280 East Avenue
Rochester, NY 14615
Rochester, NY 14610
Phone: (585) 865-7446
Phone: (585) 473-4913
Fax: (585) 865-7531

info@employeehealthsystems.com